HEADLINES, SCHMEDLINES: Fritz Schranck over at Sneaking Suspicions had an interesting post last week about newspaper headlines. Specifically, he was writing about the use of the term "brace for" in headlines. Generally, it's used in a fairly straightforward manner, as in "Scientists: Brace for a severe El Nino winter." But Fritz had a problem (and rightfully so) with this headline: "Dutch brace for conservative rule." It does make it sound like "conservative rule" is something that you must take emergency precautions against. It could be an example of bias or just plain laziness.

There's a lot of phrases like "brace for" that fall under the heading of "headlinese." These include the word "eyes," as in: "Bush eyes options in terror war." Another headlinese word: "mulls." As in: "Bush mulls options in terror war." You don't see these phrases as often as you used to, because journalism schools are trying to stamp them out. But back when I was a sports guy, a co-worker and I used to make joke headlines (not for publication) using the really old sports headlinese. Some of you may have encountered these terms and gone, "Huh?" Here goes:

"Cagers": The basketball team. I guess the nets on the baskets resembled cages to old scribes.
"Thinclads": Track team. As in, "Smith High thinclads claim league title."
"Harriers": Cross-country team. Sometimes you would see it as "x-country," which is really bad.
"Loop": A classic sports headlinese word. It's a short stand-in for league, as in, "Smith High thinclads claim loop title."
"Lax": I understand that this is a headlinese shortcut for lacrosse, a game I don't really understand. However, "lax" fits in perfectly with these other examples.
"Kickers": The soccer team.
"Grapplers": The wrestling team.
"Gridders": The football team.

There are many more that I can't remember right now. My co-worker, who was a huge baseball buff, could spout long passages of 1930s-era baseball jargon. I'll try to replicate one of his riffs:

"The Camden Yard railbirds (longtime fans who are knowledgeable about the team) are abuzz about the acquisition of promising young hurler (pitcher) Dizzy McAdams, who had toiled on the Red Sox farm (been in the Boston organization) since 1997. The southpaw (left-hander) has dazzled the loop with his starboard offerings. (I believe this is an old term for pitches thrown by a left-hander. I could be wrong.) He had been courted by the New York Mets and other teams in the senior circuit (the National League) before settling in Baltimore. He first toed the rubber/toed the slab (made a pitching appearance) for Boston after a showing promise as a nifty second sacker (second baseman) who could turn a twin killing (double play) with ease."

You get the idea.