COVERING A DANGEROUS WORLD: We all know that newspapers love stories that feature death, serious injury or bizarre acts of nature. Thank God for the "New York Press" for providing a little levity:

On amusement-ride tragedies: Things got under way early this year at a makeshift carnival in South Ozone Park, Queens, as last night 10 children were sent to the hospital after the inflatable trampoline they were cavorting upon tipped over and deflated—dumping some children 15 feet to the ground and trapping others beneath what the New York Post called "a blanket of rubber." Nobody was seriously hurt—just minor cuts and bruises—but believe you me, everyone was pretty badly shaken there for a while. And what was the name of this fun kiddie ride?...The Titanic. It was shaped like a giant fucking ship, and they called it The Titanic. Well, what in the hell did they expect? Smooth sailing?...Like I said, though, they were lucky this time, and no one was hurt too badly. In fact, after being comforted by their parents, those children who weren’t sent to the hospital ran off with money enough left in their pockets to ride on The Mangler, The Nauseator, The Eye-Poker, The Bone Chipper and The Child Abductor.

On that "mysterious "blob" off the Florida coast: It’s all very disconcerting. But even more bothersome is the news, tossed off quite casually there near the end, that new satellite photos reveal that the Blob is dissipating. These men with their haircuts and Mr. Fancypants degrees may call it "dissipating," as if that’s supposed to be a good thing. Well, I’ll tell you what I call it—I call it "breaking up into smaller Blobs"—each independent of the other, each with the ability to spread about and grow into new giant Blobs. Haven’t these people ever seen The Green Slime, for godsakes? Haven’t they seen anything?